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I don’t know what I’m doing.

I had lots of plans for this weekend. Then Sunday happened.

This week was just one big panic attack. I don’t even remember what it’s like to breathe.

I tried to fix things.

I tried to make new plans for Friday. Plans that would make him happy. But I couldn’t.

It’s terrible being rejected by people you barely know, and after asking something so personal, the shame hurts too.

Now the plans I originally made went out the window because he’s coming to get me either way. I suppose it’s a good thing. He woudnt have approved of my original plans anyway.

Things aren’t better. I wish so badly that they would get better.

I don’t believe that I’m fine.